Ever thought about spicing up your marriage or relationship by swinging? Before we take a look at some basic rules for the swinger lifestyle, we have to first understand what the swinger lifestyle means. Swinging is where you and your spouse or significant have sexual encounters with other willing partners, usually together as a team. If you never got to play team sports in high school or college, now’s your time to make it for it!
There’s primarily two types of swinging, soft swap and hard swap.
A soft swap is usually done by couples who are trying out the lifestyle for the first time. It involves sexual activity such as oral sex, kissing, fingering, touching and hand jobs. Sexual intercourse or penetration is off limits.
Hard swap, on the other hand, entails all kinds of sexual activity including intercourse. Before engaging in the swinger lifestyle, I would highly recommend that your partner and you discuss comfort levels and come to an agreement of what will be allowed. It’s very important that each partner respect the other’s wishes and what limits were agreed to. I can’t emphasize this importance enough.
Talk with Your Partner and Make Sure You are Both on the Same Page
Communication is incredibly important if you want to be able to express your deepest desires and fears. Engaging in the swinger lifestyle can be complicated as you are inviting other people into your bedroom. You may feel embarrassed talking to your partner about swinging and some of your desires. However, open communication with your partner is critical and will enhance your marriage in more ways than you can imagine. Even if you never have sex with anyone outside of the two of you, the increased communication will reap so much trust and connection that it alone will be worth the journey. Don’t even try swinging unless you’re both on the same page with rules and expectations.
Don’t do Anything Behind Your Partners Back
You’ve now decided to engage in swinging as a couple. Your spouse is allowing you to sleep with other people, don’t screw it up! I’ve seen this happen several times in my 6 years of being in the swinging lifestyle. One spouse gets greedy and tries to do things outside of what was agreed to. You’re already one of the luckiest spouses in the world to have a partner who allows you to sleep with other people. Be grateful for the opportunity. You may never get the same opportunity again! There’s a reason why swingers only have a 2% divorce rate versus the 50% average.
Always be on your partner’s side and ensure that they are okay with what you are doing, especially if attending a sex club or swinger party. Swinging is much more enjoyable if performed as a team. You’ll have a built-in wing man or woman. Lol. If you want to go solo, ensure that your significant other is okay with it. Don’t indulge yourself behind your partners back; that is not swinging, it is cheating.
The swinger lifestyle can be some of the most fun you’ve ever had. I promise. Have fun and experiment with anything that excites you. Most people in the lifestyle are very nice and respectful. You’ll get an opportunity to develop some great friendships with fun benefits. Experience your wildest fantasies and have fun.
You Have the Right to Say ‘No’
Saying no is considered a fundamental etiquette in swinging. You should be able to decline advances if you’re uncomfortable without any explanation. Just keep it simple straight forward and above all polite.
Go check out a sex club or swinger party. Use one of the swinger websites like SAFSocial or Adult Friend Finder.